Saturday, April 08, 2006
Avoiding Sniper Fire
Memo from The White House: It's late 2001 and Washington, DC is under some stress. I (Prez Bush) just issued my fun little 'Orange Alert' system (Green means go have fun! Red means hiker down with bottled water and baked beans) and now there's a sniper on the loose in the city. I think I'll send a news report to the BBC, where Midnight Shoveler is watching the telly, and let him know how to avoid any violence in Trafalgar Square. It's simple, fast, and fun! The whole family can avoid sniper fire together! When you walk across a large, open area, simply walk in a zigzag line, from side to side. See illustration at right for step-by-step. Think 'weave and bob, weave and bob'. You'll be at your tea in no time, and scary grandparents with rifles will miss you every time. Sure, you might be judged as a bit loony, and sent to the psychiatric ward, but it's safe there, isn't it?