In finding out that the US government could be listening in on potential terrorist-linked activity, I thought I might wiretap a section of my hometown's phone calls. I picked up three very valuable snippets.
1. 'Becky looked like a fat cow in school today!'
2. 'I wonder if she got knocked up at that keg party last week.'
3. 'Ethel, are you going to bridge tonight?' (This one is especially suspicious.)
There are terrorists everywhere.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
In the winter, one can always put on another coat, some thermal underwear, or wrap some spaceage foil around themselves to get warmer. In the summertime, in Boston, with the thermometer reading 97 degrees, I cannot remove any more layers without trying to peel off my epidermis. And that never feels good. I have another couple months of this to look forward to. I'm toast.
Monday, June 12, 2006
In the spirit of my recent trip to Iceland, where everyone has wacky self-empowering haircuts, here are a couple new hairproducts for the 21st-century generation. You might also look into purchasing 'The Consumer', which has a credit card barcode emblazoned on one's forehead. No worries about fradulent charges, ever again, just swipe your face through the scanner!