Saturday, September 19, 2009

Terrifying, Gross, and Amazing: Sally

Sally is one of the most fascinating and hilarious people I know, and like myself, her life often revolves around categories. I once decided that all objects in the world could be categorized into "funny" and "not funny". Pillows: funny. Pencils: not funny. Sometimes it's a bit intangible as to why you think something is inherently funny when it's not outwardly wacky-looking or used in a funny way. It's not difficult to get a long list going once you start, and there is sometimes crossover potential. Noses are sometimes funny (Barbara Streisand), but sometimes not funny at all (allergies). There are also side categories of "amusing" (lawns) and "vaguely sexual" (kumquats), but still, the system works for me. I might post my funny/unfunny list one day, but Sally's list goes like this: Terrifying, Gross, and Amazing things. Note: if something's particularly amazing, it can also fall under the category of "amahhzing", in which there are few allowances, mostly things involving RuPaul.

Terrifying Things
heatdeath of the universe
clones
bacteria
the year 2080
children's hands inside of their own mouths
thinking about one's death
time
time travel
the sun becoming a red giant
asteroids
geologic cataclysms
reversal of magnetic poles/weakening of forces
ozone depletion
solar radiation
extreme ocean depths
anything more than 2 feet off the ground
babies
having children
anaerobic life
radioactivity
bones

Gross Things
commercials
bacteria
nanotechnology
fungi
2080
botox
eating the sea/sushi
bubble tea/tapioca
cottage cheese
lumpy things
raw chicken
tittybitches
having babies (see also Terrifying)
money/pennies
economics
bones, teeth
republicans

Amazing Things
bacteria
nanotechnology
enzymes
sea salt
RuPaul
the sun
aurorae
mammals and marsupials
birds
time
venus flytraps/carnivorous plants
giant squid
blue whales
anaerobic life
oxygen

No comments: