These Things, They Are All But(t) Words

I debated whether this would be appropriate for my dear readers. I'm not usually a terrible vulgar person, and I try to keep my posts somewhat educational (a music review here, a collage there) but this idea was too good to pass up, so if you're easily offended, move on.
We all know of the pants with 'PRINCESS' on the butts, or even 'bitch', 'sexy', and others. But I think we could really pump up the volume on this cliched fashion. I just know the corporations could make some big bucks on these ideas for sweatpants/gym shorts letterings, so these are so totally copyright moi. If I see 'The Fact That I Have Words Here is a Feminist Discourse Which Empowers Me' as sewed-on letters to the next Abercrombie pants I'm gonna be furious. (That one's a little hard to read in this image, it's a lot of letters to sew on.) Here are a few ideas for re-envisioned words on the behinds of all the sorority girls you know and love.

All the New News and Pittsburgh Symphony Reading!

There's been so much new news that has come to be in November, it's almost hard to remember it all. But luckily it's all been good news, and all exciting adventures.
The biggest news is that I finished my orchestra piece, Lake Myvatn. It's about 8 minutes and 20 seconds long (one movement) and 144 measures. A gross of measures, if you will. Not very many, compared to most orchestral pieces, but it does more more slowly. I'm excited to hear all the celeste and crotale sounds, and the intense brass and string sections. The Carnegie-Mellon Philharmonic will be playing it in the Spring.
But in reality, that's not really the biggest news. I thought it was, but then I heard something two days ago. The biggest biggest news is that John Corigliano, the Composer of the Year for the Pittsburgh Symphony's Composer, chose my piece (and 3 other local grad students from surrounding colleges) to be read by the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra. The PSO is top-notch. And I am so delighted. There won't be a formal concert, but the Symphony will rehearse my piece and ask me questions, and I'll be able to ask them questions, and get feedback about what worked, and what I can do more effectively. I am bummed that my friend Matt didn't get picked- I think he has great ideas and I would have been happy to see him get a reading as well...but it's still good to win. The reading will happen sometime in March. I was expecting the decision sometime around Spring as well, so this came so suddenly. Hooray!

Other news in brief: Pre-Halloween festivities caused Sally and me to dress up and Sally wore My Little Ponies in her hair. I wore teeny tiny shorts and a clip-on tie from 5th grade. I can't believe I hadn't posted this picture yet.It's also an explosion of yellow outside my treehouse door, and more colors of strange neon translucence await me on my walk every day.






Such a shame that the photos don't even do the colors justice, as the remainder of the bright leaves here are quite electrifying, practically enveloping one in a bath of color.

I'm also designing things! The School of Music let me design an invitation for a fancypants piano concert they're giving for the CMU elite, and I also designed three different (and fabulous) graphic posters for the Student Composer's Concert tomorrow night.
I'm taking a Communication Design Fundamentals course next semester, and I'm really excited about learning about design for realz, and not just faking it. Then again, some good ideas come from working with what you've got...
Like taking a spool of wire and some beads from a Claire's bracelet that you found on the ground and combining it with some gaudy chandelier drops and you can have a really fantastic sculptural necklace. I also reclaimed a wool sweater by spray-painting on fleur-de-lis stencils and adding a vintage patch to cover a hole. It sadly did not get accepted into the craft book I entered it into, but I did get it back so I can wear it around. And sew up the holes that I missed the first time. Which makes me wonder why Goodwill missed this one (or a memo to Goodwill: there is a mouse in your building.)

And last but certainly not to be the least, is that I now have a real website!

Check out nathan-hall.net and listen to some music samples, check out a couple collages, read about me (just not too carefully, the texts still need some editing), and then commission me to write you some music, of course. I do it all! And by all, I just mean some of the artsy fartsy stuff, and no sports at all, and certainly nothing having to do with any real business skills, which hasn't made me any money yet but it does get me all the ladies. And by all the ladies I mean the friends I already had, and we talk about graphic design, the periodic table of elements, and why no one wants to wear my sculptural necklace made of chandelier pendants out in public. In fact, though I've been exceedingly happy about all my design endeavors, I've been steadily losing money. But soon enough, my friends.
Soon enough.

Freaky Friday Marine Life

Oh, to be krill! Says the plankton. Oh, to be plankton! Says the krill. They look pretty despondent. But one day the planets were aligned, and ZAP!
Still no match for that baleen whale!!!
(This was an excuse for me to draw happy cartoon sea organisms. I care not what they look like in real life, so long as they're happy.)

Furnace men

It is a prerequisite if you are a furnace repairman to have a mullet, and to smoke inside other people's apartments. You must also be able to describe the quality of the titties on all the girls who live in the building.

Concert for Peace

Last night I was invited to play a few of my art songs for the opening concert in a World Peace Conference in Pittsburgh. I was nervous at first as I only knew the organizer, Emily Pinkerton and her husband Patrick. And technically I know them through a friend, so I'm more like a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. But I was put at ease by the warm applause from the audience. I played a few art songs which normally don't have much of a venue- they're text settings of poems (usually short) and some are pretty melancholic. I also played my recomposition of Fleetwood Mac's 'Don't Stop' and ended with an appropriate Jane Tyson Clement art song. Later at the reception, a man told me that he met Jane Clement 30 years ago! His son now lives at the community where Clement lived. It can be a very small world.
The opening songs were by the folk orchestra from the UU Church in Shadyside, where Emily directs the group in their monthly concert. Highlights included a real live autoharp player, and a guy blowing into a jug. He was really serious about it, so it was effective. Especially in a folk orchestra.
After my set, I had the pleasure of hearing Heather Kropf. She's a singer-songwriter and I listened to her latest album, which is phenomenal! There are a couple stand-out soul and jazz tracks with muted trumpet, which can compete with any major-label artist today. The quality of that recording blows me away. Her piano style is simple yet effective, with hints of jazz and Kate Bush, and she mentioned the Joni Mitchell streak through her poetic lyrics. She even asked me if she could learn two of my songs! How could I say no? Also, how can I get better at writing songs with lyrics that don't blow.
Emily concluded the evening with a few solo nylon-strung guitar songs in Spanish, and a folk music set of banjo, guitar, and bass, all songs she composed. The banjo was so mellow and warm, though, and not the plinkety-plunk banjo I'm used to hearing in bluegrass (which I love in its own right, of course). It smoothed out the songs, which perfectly incorporated Emily's light, Alison-Krauss-y voice into one solid instrument. The pieces in Spanish were a particular highlight for me; I never get to hear nylon-strung guitars, which are incredibly beautiful, and Emily's songs for them brought out her South American influences (and Ph.D. in ethnomusicology) while still keeping her own voice, which sings about 'landscapes as metaphor for human emotion'.
I think that this concert was one of the most memorable things I've heard in Pittsburgh, and I've heard quite a bit so far. Hearing folk music live reminds me that while I'm usually in classical music world all day, there's a huge world out there, full of talent and genuine appreciation for music in all its genres. There are classical musicians who love to get down with their fiddles. Pop musicians who are smart enough to sing about Hestia, the goddess of the hearth. I don't know what I do. Take words and textures and melodies and give them a new life? And how can I not thank an appreciative audience? Perhaps that appreciation for all kinds of musical expression is a small particle of help for world peace. I'm thankful to be a part of that.

Simple Elegant Halloween with Drunken Sluts

Part of the joy this holiday season is being able to make oneself sick to one's stomach seeing all of the scantily-clad sluts in Halloween costumes. As Mean Girls proves all too well, you can take any costume and turn it sexy by removing a few of the non-essential items and adding more cleavage, and most essentially, the shortest skirt/shirt/shorts possible. Sexy nurse, coming right up. Sexy firefighter girl, I saw one of those too. Sexy cannibal, well, that's a little trickier, but I saw it done. And it was frightening.
Costumes this season include horny devils, an audio tour of famous artworks, and I was Wikipedia, complete with printed-out entries that would be stuck to my body throughout the night. I found some interesting articles, including the only known photograph of Frederic Chopin, and a 'list' of the two hockey teams in Alberta, Canada (thanks to the 'random article' function). I was surprised to find out that a lot of people don't know what Wikipedia is (or perhaps my costume wasn't clear enough?) but even after I explained that it's a user-editable encyclopedia they don't really get it.
Of course, the best costumes involve the most intricate details, and the winner of intricate details goes to Sally, who was Bjork.
Now there are two people in the world who can pull off wearing a swan dress with glamorous nonchalance.

Sexy bongo-bassoon grooves

Fall is abuzz with chamber music. I have at least two pieces being premiered in upcoming concerts, which is something exceptional, and one piece is programmed for two recitals- this is definitely the most performances of my works in one season. Not to mention the Saxophone Quartet which is being played a gazillion times for high school students in New York. So, if you're in Pittsburgh, and would like to attend, you can hear:

Nov. 2- possible art songs, TBA, Shadyside Presbyterian Church (this will be pretty last-minute in a Concert for Peace, but it could be lovely.)
Nov. 11- Four Lovers (bassoon and one percussionist)- This one is the percussionist's recital.
5pm, Alumni Concert Hall
Nov. 15- Songs for Pittsburgh (flute, harp, and viola trio) at the Student Composer's Concert
7pm, Kresge Recital Hall.
Dec. 1- Four Lovers- This recital is for the bassoonist, for whom the piece was written.
5pm Kresge Recital Hall.

Pufferfish

Idea for a youth 'subliminal values' book: antismoking theme meets aquatic adventures.
The little fishie says: "when I grow up, I want to puff just like him!"
That pufferfish is pretty cool, but man, is it hard to keep that cigarette lit underwater.

Recipe for Fall

It looks like Fall is finally here! Get out your beakers and stir up a recipe for a season of crunchy leaves, cool evenings, and appley everything. I can finally wear a blazer, and perhaps a scarf, and real pants. This makes Midnight a happy man, and out of place, 'cause everyone else is cranky that seems so dreary out.

Geaglemania

It took me no less than twenty-seven minutes today from the moment I pulled a number at the deli to the time I was handed my TWO items: a pound of turkey and a half-pound of salami. Normally I wouldn't stand for such madness, but I've been craving turkey sandwiches for lunch, and I had to buy groceries sometime, and well, I'm at the grocery store now and I won't come back just to go to the meat section. With scant help, and ten people waiting ahead of me, there was little I could do but be lucky number 37.
On a side note, thoughts about the Shadyside Giant Eagle Market District Fancy Pants Grocer Bistro and Part-Time Massage Therapist.
1. Lots of gay boys like this grocery store. Why didn't I dress up?
2. The man ahead of me at the deli is super-fashionable. I wonder if he's gay. Well, that confirms it- he's ordering prosciutto.
3. No spousal arguments allowed in the aisles.
4. There are shanks of cactus for sale in the produce section. Have I ever in my life seen a cactus on a menu?

There's lots to think about when you have 27 minutes to wait by the roast beef.

Girl Hit By Bicycle Hit By Bus

I was witness to a traffic accident the other day which surprised me that no one else seemed shocked (or even amused) at the situation. The bus I was riding on clipped the mirror of a bicyclist, who was attempting to swerve around a pedestrian on the sidewalk. The bicyclist then crashed into the girl, who was sent, arms flying (you know those sitcom choreographed motions of people who trip over things? That kind of arm-flailing), onto the grass of someone's lawn. Thankfully no one looked too hurt, and I lost my view as the bus sped away from the scene. I drew this Richard Scarry-esque cartoon to help illustrate.

Stolen Identity Irony

In what can only be described as a case of stolen identity irony, Banana Republic sent me a letter today saying that my social security number (from a job application last year) may have been taken, inside of a laptop that was stolen from some corporate whore's office. However, it's not serious, and the computer was probably only used to look at porn anyway (I'm assuming that's what stolen computers are used for; Banana can't comment at this time). The irony of the story is that in the envelope which my letter was mailed, someone else's form was stuck in accidentally. Name and address and everything. Isn't the point of this letter to inform you about keeping one's personal information private? And now I know that this person lives down the street from me, by the grocery store.
So...you can call me Ms. Kendra Jenkins from now on. After all, I did get her mail, and I can be anybody I want to nowadays.

Kings of Convenience and Erlend Oye

The Kings of Convenience are a band that I've known about for a few years, thanks in part to my friend Ryan, a baron of indie credibility. They've got two albums out, and one 'remix' album. Norwegian in origin, their music is usually composed of two nylon-strung guitars (or soft instruments) and duetting baritone vocals, which are conveniently in my own range for once! And being Scandinavian adds an extra cool element. Not to mention all of their incredibly thoughtful lyrics, which are full of stories and verbal puns (their first album is titled Quiet Is The New Loud), and that the volume never rises above mezzoforte, even with drums and cello and piano involved. I'm a big fan of their 'hit' song I'd Rather Dance With You, which has a cute video and dance moves like I do in my living room. Their latest album 'Riot on an Empty Street' also has two songs featuring Feist.
Well, lately, I've been discovering the offshoot projects of the solo Kings of Convenience, and it's so exciting to find new music that you love and never knew existed! Erlend Oye is the more prolific of the two singers (he's pictured at right with his trademark retro-thick glasses) and Eirik Glambek Boe (slashes through all the O's) is the other, who has a solo band on MySpace but no album that I know of. Erlend has a solo electronic music album out, called Unrest, a DJ Kicks remix album (of other people's songs) and he also has a live 'band' under the band name 'The Whitest Boy Alive'. The electronica album is especially good- I prefer warm sounds and soft beats with keyboardy noises for my electronic music, rather than industrial sounds. Every piece is definitely a 'song' rather continuous 'unsuh unsuh unsuh'.
Encompassing several different genres, Oye's wittiness and clever songwriting stays strong. The melodies are catchy but not fluffy ; the instrumentation is clever and sometimes funny, but spare. I'd also like to point out the music video for the Unrest album includes slow motion, sexual innuendo with roosters, egg-smashing, and baton-twirling. Check it out.
I saw Kings of Convenience once in Boston, and the music was so wonderfully quiet that the cash register at the event was making too much noise for the performance. It was difficult to hear the major-seventh chords quietly plucked out of a guitar over the 'ch-ch-ching! Zip zip zip zip' of the receipt printer. Now that's my kind of pop music. Perhaps in a future album tour they'll be passing my way again. Or I may just have to fly to Bergen, Norway for my fix.

Quarter-Century Weekend

This weekend was full of excitement! It was my birthday yesterday, and in celebration of turning 25, I had a party at my apartment and made apple pie. I received awesome items like gay erotica and giraffe socks from Sally, Mark, and Matt, fake mustaches from Amy, and the book Cloud Atlas from Julian. (Coincidence that everyone has a livejournal? I think not.)
I also went home to Western, NY, to hear a world premiere of my Saxophone Quartet played by the Erie Saxophone Quartet, right in my hometown! It was really special to have a classical music premier that my family members could drive right down the road and go see. The performance went very well, and the group's professor asked me to possibly plan a trip to SUNY Fredonia to talk with students about composer/performer collaborations. I am delighted! I think the piece was well-received, as most of the people who weren't elderly (or crippled by the hard pews of the church that the performance was in) stood up and clapped at the end of it. I also have to remind myself that while I don't think the piece was the best thing I've ever written (though it is the most sassy), having someone get their Master's degree in Music, and actually compose the music that one hears is quite a feat. I get so accustomed to being in academia, feeling lowly compared to professors I admire, that I forget that I actually gotz some skillz.
(Side note: I had about five people ask me why saxophones are so many different sizes, what their names are, and what they're all still saxophones. And if the soprano sax is a toy.)
In addition to all this excitement, my family had a birthday party waiting for me when I got home, and I got to visit with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. I also saw my sister's sexy new haircut. Ma and Pa also had the wagon pulled up outside the depot, ready to give me the horse and buggy ride of my life. I'm glad I remembered my bonnet!
Kidding about all the Laura Ingalls stuff. But the rest happened, and it was no less exciting than a wild horse ride, sans bonnet. Now I have to catch up on all the things I neglected this weekend in favor of drinking Asti.

Beergasm, Fall Memories, Leafy Shirt

It feels like fall outside! I am just so excited I can't express it with words. The weather lately has felt sort of like:
Warm, but exuberant. Like a beergasm hot tub full of boys, or beakers full of bubbly champagne. And the evenings feel a bit like this:Like a feeling of being in a hot tub full of boys and then hopping out into the chilly night air. Autumn (or at least the promise of it) makes me very optimistic, reminiscent, nostalgic. So does the time of my birthday, which is next Monday. This time in September also causes me to wax poetic about a string of very strange and random things:
1. Fancy pens. Every year from K-12 I'd buy some fancy pens for school. Color-changing, pens with aquatic animals on them, mechanical pencils, and pencils with trolls on the top.
2. Back to school, walking down the long driveway to the school bus.
3. A shirt I had with autumn leaves on it, circa fifth grade. It was strangely similar to this beauty from tobicollage.com:
4. My semester in Scotland. Better in hindsight than in actuality, considering the strange cultural differences to be overcome and the lack of a quality educational system. But I would love to go back and teach, live/work, or maybe just soak up the essence there.
5. One chicken tandoori sub. (Or hoagie.) Eaten in Princes St. Gardens, Edinburgh. I was famished, a stranger in a foreign country, with pulled tendons in my feet from cobblestones and jet lag. A chicken tandoori sandwich saved me.
5 1/2. A tomato and olive pita pocket which did not save me. It was disgusting and I spit it all out on the ground.
6. Vassar.
7. New apartments, and making a home for your few precious things.
8. New and amazing friends!

It's the same every year, when the wave of 'fancypensback2skoolleafyshirtscotlandtandoorivassarapartmentfriends!' hits me suddenly and unexpectedly. The list grows longer with every autumn, but I certainly look forward to it extending with new and wonderful things. I've retired the leafy shirt, though...I don't want to be too cool for school and intimidate all the new kids.

Scent of Heaven

In what can only be described as 'new loveseat' odor, my apartment now smells like an IKEA showroom. Minus the cinnamon buns. But that can be rectified.

Quick takers

I set a small plastic storage bin with three drawers in it (something you might put your bathroom stuff in) out on my sidewalk this morning at 10:00am. I taped a sign on it saying 'FREE TAKE ME' and it was gone by 2:00pm. How quickly snatched!
I just wish I could be the guy who finds a shiny new chandelier on the sidewalk, or a gently worn size 40 Dior three-piece suit on the curb, ready to go to a good home. Guess this isn't the right part of town for free chandeliers.

Ridiculous Musical Expectations

Now that people in the music building sort of know who I am ('The Music Office Biotch') they have come to do silly things, like hand me keys to turn in when they see me in the halls, or ask if I could give up my computer in the music office so he/she could print something out. I'm working more hours than normal (thankfully I get paid a little extra for it) but it does cut into my composing time, and a couple days I eat lunch in the closet, which is not too cool with me. However, I'm enjoying the classwork this semester, and there are so many new young composers that I hope to impress with my certain je ne sais quoi (and avant-garde neckpieces).
Here's some little snips from my recent trip to the Pittsburgh Zoo, 'cause I've been meaning to add these and haven't had a chance.

This girl was too darn cute. Unfortunately the elephants didn't fancy the kiddies much and preferred to ignore everyone in favor of showering themselves with water and dirt.

There were also a lot of small amusements, like a man sticking his hand into the piranha tank. Click on this one for more fishie fun!Okay, I've done my job for the day, eased a couple minor crises by overnight mailing envelopes, and now its back to thinking about how to create the sounds of a flock of birds using only percussion. What a varied occupation I'm getting myself into.

Quotations from a Five-Year-Old

Let me say in advance: I don't like most children. Until they can color, or talk about music in a 'mini-adult' voice, I think children are pretty useless. And certainly not as cute as everyone thinks. That being said, I babysat this boy for a second time and he is amazing. We'll call him 'One-Liner Kid'. He's five, and Jewish, and has two gay dads, and has a new baby brother adopted from Vietnam who was peacefully sleeping upstairs the whole time I was babysitting. Well, One-Liner was in top form during my babysitting hours. It seems that everything that comes out of his mouth is hilarious, and what seems to be very intelligent to me for a five-year old. The last time I babysat, he offered the gem 'This is a lion, and they live in the Sahara. This is a tiger, and I'm Jewish. Are you Jewish? This is a zebra.'
But this time the one-liners were bouncing left and right.

"The Movie About Me will involve a boy, and lots of abrasions."

"Are you in a rock band? We should be in a rock band and our name will be Really Great Rock Band."

"I wrote to Dwayne to see if I could be in his rock band but he said no."
"How old is Dwayne?" I ask.
"He's 18. He's really tall."

"Look, all the carnivores are sleeping, except for this diplodocus." (We're playing with dinosaurs and all the herbivores are left standing.)

Did I also mention that One-Liner is obsessed with the Phantom of the Opera musical, and getting over his Lion King musical phase? Talk about a kid with two gay dads, but the strange thing is that neither parent really cares that much about musicals. I'm singing a line from the musical to One-Liner:
"The PHAaa-ntom of the Opera is there..."
"Insiiide your mind! I want to be Phantom for Halloween. Do you have a mask?"

We're coloring a book of Spiderman drawings, One-Liner tells me:
"That looks like a herd of dingos".
Clearly the boy knows a lot about animals, from the Paleozoic era onwards.

But my personal favorite occurs when we're playing a computer game, and One-Liner turns to me and says,
"I'm an excellent fry cook."
And he turns back to 'Shrek: The Computer Game', blissfully unaware of his stand-up routine.

I'm certainly amused for a few hours, the dads are happy to get out of the house, and One-Liner gets to entertain. Everyone's happy! And adding to the near-perfect way to make a little extra money, the kid puts himself to bed.

Superman Demystified

There's a certain amount of comforting predictability when it comes to superhero action flicks. There's always going to be the foreshadowing moment of 'don't be alarmed by our advanced technology, nothing will ever go wrong...' and there will always be the dastardly evil plotting of the bad guy, for little reasoning beyond 'being the richest man in the universe'. Luckily there are also some surprises, like in 'Superman Returns', the delightful Parker Posey, and the hints of SuperMuscles underneath that spandex outfit. Click on the picture to view the elements you can use to make your own superhero adventure!