It took me no less than twenty-seven minutes today from the moment I pulled a number at the deli to the time I was handed my TWO items: a pound of turkey and a half-pound of salami. Normally I wouldn't stand for such madness, but I've been craving turkey sandwiches for lunch, and I had to buy groceries sometime, and well, I'm at the grocery store now and I won't come back just to go to the meat section. With scant help, and ten people waiting ahead of me, there was little I could do but be lucky number 37.
On a side note, thoughts about the Shadyside Giant Eagle Market District Fancy Pants Grocer Bistro and Part-Time Massage Therapist.
1. Lots of gay boys like this grocery store. Why didn't I dress up?
2. The man ahead of me at the deli is super-fashionable. I wonder if he's gay. Well, that confirms it- he's ordering prosciutto.
3. No spousal arguments allowed in the aisles.
4. There are shanks of cactus for sale in the produce section. Have I ever in my life seen a cactus on a menu?
There's lots to think about when you have 27 minutes to wait by the roast beef.
That grocery store is full of gays and of bad parents yelling at their children. There is very little middle ground.
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